My cousin, who just had a milestone birthday, invited the cousins to a restaurant for dinner. Everyone got there on time in high spirits and she was a charming hostess. Until the waitress began to take our orders ... The waitress began asking for our names so she could make up separate cheques. We said "let's check with our organizer" who told us "oh yes, the waitress needs to make separate cheques".
So we all made the necessary mental switch.
It was embarrassing afterwards when our cousin continued to act like the hostess by walking around the table to make sure we were doing all right.
At the end, the waitress brought out a dessert with a candle. I felt a little sad:
1) that the birthday girl seemed to need the attention on this milestone birthday.
2) that I wouldn't have given her a $50 gift card if I had known I was to pay my own way.
3) that this story will become part of family legend without her knowing.
Sigh.
Surprised
December 17th, 2011 at 09:06 am
December 17th, 2011 at 12:55 pm 1324126520
December 17th, 2011 at 01:00 pm 1324126826
December 17th, 2011 at 02:58 pm 1324133887
It just sounds to me like an honest miscommunication. I wouldn't hold it against her.
Anyway, I like ccfree's response. Always expect to pay. Be pleasantly surprised when you don't have to. Just as a note for the future - makes these situations easier to handle. Obviously there are many instances where there is a disconnect among different people in these type situations. Of course, these disconnects will always be there if you don't communicate when there is a disconnect. So I would also recommend talking to her about it versus talking behind her back about it for eternity (family legend)?
December 18th, 2011 at 04:09 am 1324181354
I have to agree with the other posters. I would have assumed I way not only paying for my own but part of hers. The most puzzling part is that you said it was a milestone birthday and yet not one of you offered to pay for her meal? Oy! This is a shame on you. (all of you not just you)
December 18th, 2011 at 04:53 am 1324183988
Most people gave her very, very generous birthday envelopes, including me, because we did not want her to have to take a lot of awkward big gifts home. We wanted to cover the cost of the meal, plus allow her to buy things she needed.
We ended up doing that, plus paying for our own meal. Perhaps she didn't trust us enough to believe the event cost would be taken care of in the end.
I'll definitely not make the same assumption next time so that I won't be out of pocket so much money.
December 19th, 2011 at 10:48 am 1324291685
Jerry